Some funny one - liners.

    * In the front yard of a funeral home, "Drive carefully, we'll wait."  *

    * In a nonsmoking area, "If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
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    * On a maternity room door, "Push, Push, Push."
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    * On a front door, "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog."
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    * At an optometrist's office, "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
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    * On a taxidermist's window, "We really know our stuff."
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    * On a butcher's window, "Let me meat your needs."
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    * On a fence, "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."
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    * At a car dealership, "The best way to get back on your feet -- miss a car payment."
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    * Outside a muffler shop, "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming."
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    * On a desk in a reception room, "We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left."
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    * In a veterinarian's waiting room, "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
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    * In a Beauty Shop, "Dye now!"
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    * On the side of a garbage truck, "We've got what it takes to take what you've got." (Burglars please copy.)
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    * In a restaurant window, "Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up."
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    * Inside a bowling alley, "Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop."
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    * In a cafeteria, "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want."